Soylent Experiment

I have a habit of trying lots of new things in hopes of achieving maximum happiness or efficiency in my life. I am not great at starting up in the mornings. Every morning for me is a diesel in cold weather without a heater. I hurt, life hurts, effort hurts and I want to give up in general. No reason seems adequate for entering the adult world and leaving my bed. Often I skip the whole breakfast ordeal completely or merely grab a banana or apple. As it happens, this is not adequate and by 9:30AM I am dreaming of lunch and at 11:00AM, I am giving into my yelling tummy. I know an actual meal for breakfast would solve this, but getting 7:30AM Jasmine to make breakfast is impossible. She is just a lazy bum set on laying in bed just a few more minutes or lounging on the back deck swing watching the dogs. Stirring her is perhaps not the best solution.

I did some research and found Soylent and thought that may be an easy way to jump start my mornings with a full meal to really hold me over until lunch time. After three days, I had to quit and here is why:

1. I have a migraine the first hour after sipping it.

2. If I do not mix it with a stronger protein (peanut butter, milk, etc) my blood sugar tanks sporadically throughout the day. And there is no predicting it. Just suddenly, I shake like a fucking drug addict getting sober.

3. I cannot drink it without a lid on the cup because the smell makes me puke. I also cannot drink it without blending it because the texture makes me gag.

4. I get random hot flashes and cold flashes as my body  handles the nutrients (seemingly independently).

5. I get more energy, well-being, and stability from kale shakes with various fruits. (So now, I am just begging my morning bird fiance to make a shake before he leaves for work.)

Everyone will handle this meal replacement differently. Many people have fallen in love with this powered food with none of the effects I have. However, some of you will have these effects so I encourage you to ask a friend for a week’s worth (pay them, the pouches are insanely expensive) prior to committing to an entire box. I committed and am all but throwing it away because it makes me 100% miserable with no positive side-effects. By 10:30AM, my stomach was growing and by 11:00AM, I was still the first running to the break room to eat lunch.

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